And so it begins

“Undifferentiated sarcoma is not receptive to chemotherapy or any other treatment. He won’t survive surgery. I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do..”

Those words haunt us to this day.

Granny was 2 1/2 hours away from Burlington Children’s Hospital on the phone when those unspeakable, unthinkable words were spoken that horrible day.

Burlington Children’s hospital had exhausted all their resources. They didn’t know what else to do. They did however, have one suggestion…we could try Children’s Hospital Boston.

Arrangements were made for Drake to go to Boston. Within the hour, Drake and Daddy were on their way to Boston. Granny, Grandpa and Aunt Choner were on their way to Burlington to get Mommy. It took 4 of us and a GPS to navigate our way through the city to get to the Children’s Hospital Boston.

On our way to Boston I was thinking this was just a cruel mistake. Look at him! Does he look like he has Cancer? Childhood Cancer is rare. People make mistakes. We will forgive them. We’re going to get to Boston and they are going to tell us he “only” has pneumonia or some other less nasty health problem. They will fix him and we can go home.

More tests, more waiting, more emotional torture. We were so scared. All together, yet all alone. We held each other often, but we rarely spoke. If we don’t say it out loud, it won’t be true. We all wandered around bumping into walls, each lost in our own nightmares.. We were about 2 weeks into this unknown, unheard of world. So many questions, so few answers. It’s hard to remember details but it’s hard to forget, if that makes sense to anyone. Sometimes it’s all a blur, sometimes the memories are so burned into our heart and minds..and we can’t get away from ourselves.

Another week goes by, can’t they do something! We’re wasting time here. How many tests do they need? One more test so they can start a plan. Good, we’re getting somewhere.

Yeah, be careful what you ask for. They did a biopsy of the tumor so they could formalize a plan of action. He came through like a trooper, at first. They were even able to remove the respirator right away which they weren’t sure would be possible. What a fighter. When he woke up, I saw a look of terror in his eyes. I will never forget that look as long as I live.

We were all exhausted. Daddy stayed with Drake at the hospital and we all went to the Ronald McDonald House for a little rest. Daddy didn’t get much rest. Drake took a turn for the worse. They had to bring him back into surgery and put him back on the respirator. They put him in a medicated induced coma. The doctor actually sat in a chair outside his room for the entire night to be by his side.