Cancer SUCKS!

Yes, Cancer Sucks! How much more could my baby take? What would all this poison do to my little boy’s body? I often wondered if the treatment would do as much damage as the stupid cancer.

No summer for my boy. His life would be spent in the hospital yet again. Halle came with us every time. Daddy and Emily stayed home to continue work and school and a sense of normalcy. There is no normalcy. I just want to stay home with my family. Is that too much to ask?

I begged this storm to not strike us again, please. For this storm was truly a terrible disease. It hits with sudden force and there is no protection. It is not choosy in making its selection.

Once chosen by this storm, there is no going back. Your life will continually follow the treatment track. Treatment is a battle with more than one side-effect. And there is no guarantee of which plan will be correct. The storm will ravage your body, mind and soul. And lives will forever be changed. Hospitals, doctors, and prescriptions become a way of life. And you will need to learn to handle emotional strife.

As the storm passes, rays of hope will appear. But the threat of ensuing storms remain. The sun will shine and life will be good. Yet, the fear of wind and rain is always understood.

Living with childhood cancer is like riding the storm. Fear of recurrence is ever the norm. One feels blessed with each day of life. Life must be lived with joy in mind. And hope that your body’s cells will always remain kind.

My hope has been shattered once again. Now I live in constant fear. Who am I kidding? The fear never left, always holding my breath, always waiting..

Well we did it again..we got rid of the monster. Finally..my boy can live a real life. We prepared for the upcoming holiday season. This is Drake’s first real Christmas. First normal Christmas. No cancer, no hospitals (other than checkups). He’ll actually get to play in the snow. I can’t wait to see my normal boy.