He was doing so well

He was doing so well. No signs of the monster. We were trying to get our life back to normal while living in mind-numbing fear that any one of these tests could result in hearing the dreaded words “The cancer has returned”.

Why did it have to come back? What did we do to deserve this? What did Drake do? He is just a baby? Did you know that a child that has a relapsed cancer has a poor prognosis? This can’t be. The first time was a nightmare beyond words. We can’t do this again. We had about 10 months of “normal” life.

Well we didn’t have a choice. We were shoved into this nasty world again. We actually never left but we could pretend for a few minutes at a time that we were done, but not now. Now we are back to weekly, daily, hourly treatments and meds. Cancer has consumed our life again.

When we thought we were on our way to a normal life I went to work outside the home to try and recover financially. I only worked a few months when the monster came back. My employer asked me to stay and just take whatever time I needed. Are you kidding me? I have about 15 minutes a day available.

A new plan was put together for our baby. More chemo, throw in a little radiation, more surgery. I don’t think there is anything else to take? What choice do we have. We had to do what we had to do.

Drake was older this time. It was going to be harder. He would know that Cancer sucks. He was self-conscience of his loss of hair, chemo destroyed his teeth preventing him from flashing his big smile when he was around other people. A 2 1/2 year old shouldn’t be self-conscience. I hate you Cancer.

Our wonderful family and friends put another fundraiser together to help us out. Most people just don’t have a clue as to the expense of travel, lodging, food and a hundred other unexpected costs of a harsh medical issue. Radiation alone was 5 days a week for 5 weeks.

During the first battle with the monster Daddy was able to be off work for over 4 months thanks to his co workers. After he used all his time, co workers donated their vacation and sick time so he could be with us. Appreciation beyond words. The new plan from start to finish was another 10 months. Again, Daddy’s co workers kicked in their time so we could be together.

Did I mention that we were expecting our third child prior to discovering the monster had returned? Such joy, such pain, such..a roller coaster of emotions.

Drake was scheduled for surgery May 10th, 2009. Halle’s arrival was expected May 5th. I advised my obstetrician that 10 months pregnant or not, I was going to Boston to be with Drake for his surgery so she had a 5 day window or so to make this delivery happen. Granny took Drake to Burlington for his pre-op tests while I was finishing my stay from delivery. We had to leave our new baby at 4 days old to go to Boston for the surgery.

Drake came through surgery like the champ and hero he is. He was ready to go once again. He just loved his new baby. He wanted to go home and run and play. He still had more treatment to go through. More chemo, radiation was added after the surgery to burn the hell out of the monster. We were going to get it this time.